James Dashner and Julie Wright join Brandon and Dan for an episode about what Lou Anders called “Mating Plumage” back in this 2008 episode of Writing Excuses recorded at Denvention. Lou was just referring to covers, but for this ‘cast Dan has extended the metaphor to include  titles and first lines.

These are the three things that are best positioned to quickly “sell” a book. But to whom? And why?

The crew talks about their experiences with each of these. Yes, we judge books by covers, and no, writers don’t have any control over them. We have a little more control of our titles, and still more over our first lines.  Humorous and tragic anecdotes follow, along with a great example of a first line from Barbara Hambly.

Audiobook Pick-of-the-Week: The Maze Runner, by James Dashner

Writing Prompt: Julie Wright, when offered the chance to use the word” monkey,” came up with “I can’t believe you did this to me.” James suggested “Brandon and Julie go on safari and get attacked by monkeys.” Plenty of material there. PLENTY.

Big Hugs One Last Time: With the absence of Producer Jordo and Former Audio Engineer Howard (neither of whom could make it to CONduit) Revan and Malek of Dungeon Crawlers Radio stepped up and made each of these last FIVE EPISODES of Writing Excuses possible. We owe them big-time, and you should go check out their podcast.

I bet it’s about puppies: I Don’t Want to Kill You, by Dan Wells.

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Transcript

As transcribed by Mike Barker

Key points: mating plumage — book covers, titles, first lines. Marketing people are the ones who think of books as products. Covers mean a lot, but you may not have much control. Titles need to grab readers, make them wonder what it’s about and guess at it. A title should make people want to find out more. First lines, too, should draw the reader in, make them wonder. Zingers, conflict, question, character, tone…

[Brandon] This is Writing Excuses season four, episode 25, mating plumage. I didn’t name this episode, Dan did. Tagline us.
[Dan] 15 minutes long because you’re in a hurry.
[James] And we are not that smart.
[Dan] Thank you, James.
[Brandon] You did it, James. Excellent.
[James] Who needs Howard? Let’s get rid of him.
[Brandon] We once again have the talented James Dashner and the lovely Julie Wright who is also talented although James is not really very lovely.
[James] That’s true. That is true. Well said.
[Brandon] Who are helping us out on this podcast and sitting in. We want to thank you. Damn, this was your concept. Let’s let you describe what you mean by mating plumage.

[Dan] OK. I actually stole this phrase from Lou Anders. Years and years ago when he was a guest on this show, he referred to book covers as mating plumage. I’m going to expand this to include titles and first lines. They are the things that make you see a book in a library or in a bookstore and say, “Wow, that interests me. That has caught my attention. I want to pick it up and read it.” So let’s start then. Covers, titles, and first lines. How important are these and to who? James?
[James] Well, I think… we all know the phrase, you can’t judge a book by its cover. That doesn’t mean that people don’t buy a book based on its cover. I think you could never overstate the importance of a cover. I had a really interesting experience with the Maze Runner, because they commissioned this artist, Philip Straub, to do this computer artwork of the picture that would be on the cover. Once they did that, they went through… seriously, three or four months of scrapping that, trying other things, and eventually came back to it. So a lot of money was spent. They got the feedback of Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and all these places. It just really hit me then just how much the publisher realizes how important those covers are.
[Dan] I think it’s interesting that you mentioned the booksellers in there, because I think for… in large degree, they’re the ones who really care about the cover and the title being awesome because they want to sell it.

[Brandon] It’s partially the marketing people. One thing for new writers to kind of understand about a publishing company is editors and marketing people are very different. They think differently. Editors are hired. They’re book people. They generally get into this because they love books, and they want to be editing great science fiction and fantasy. Marketing people are marketing people. Most of the time, they are not book people. They went into it because they’re into marketing, and they want to know how to sell a book. Conflict between those two groups, with the marketing people saying this isn’t going to sell, and the editor saying I love this book, is where you get a lot of the frustration for authors and for editors and for the marketing people, not quite understanding each other or not agreeing with one another. A lot of these things… the mating plumage has to do with the marketing people and the marketing… but it also is marketing to the consumer. Tom Doherty, CEO of Tor, often says… talks about a book cover as the best poster for your book you can get. That is your advertising space. In fact, he likes to put lots of books in bookstores because then you have lots of repetition of that advertisement. Yeah, he’ll talk about a paperback. You know, it costs you $.50 to print a paperback. He says that’s $.50 for a poster. If I could layer 1000 of those paperbacks in a bookstore so that you have your poster plastered all over the place, I’d do it because that’s a cheap method of advertising, and it’s the best method of advertising.

[Dan] OK. So let’s toss this question at Julie, because she hasn’t talked yet. What makes a cover good?
[Julie] Well, they say not to judge a book by its cover…
[Dan] James has already said that.
[Julie] But I’m going to say that you can.
[Brandon] Oh, so James is wrong.
[Dan] Nice.
[Julie] The reason why is because a picture is supposed to be worth 1000 words. 1000 words in writing is a cool thing, 1000 words is a lot. So you have this picture that supposed to convey this message of what your book is about. I think sometimes it’s OK to judge a book by its cover, because there are some really cool books out there. I think that yeah, some authors get shafted by the marketing people which… can I say sucks? Which sucks.
[James] I have read a book that has a really crappy cover and just never could quite get over it. Even though the book was decent, I just kept thinking of…
[Brandon] You’re shallow.
[James] I know. I am a shallow man.
[Brandon] No. Covers mean a lot. I’ve talked about before… written blog posts on how much… in the early days, how much I judged based on… you can’t read everything. So I know if they got a good cover artist, whose cover art I liked, that they were investing a lot in the book… the publisher was, and that said something to me. But like I said, this is a podcast for new writers. They don’t have any control over the cover.
[Dan] That’s true.
[Julie] Absolutely, they don’t.
[Dan] So let’s talk about it.
[Brandon] Let’s talk about why you don’t.
[James] Even if… you’re…
[Dan] Oo, yeah, let’s talk about why.

[Brandon] A lot of new authors get surprised by this. Usually you have a cover consultation clause which only means they have to show it to you before they put it on the cover.
[Julie] I had one of those. Actually, I’m going to go ahead and jump in here. I actually hated my first cover, I mean hated it to the point where I was in tears. I called them and said, “This is awful. I can’t believe you guys think that this is a good idea.” They said, “Julie, let me explain something to you. You are a writer, you write books. We are publishers, we sell books. You don’t mess with our job, and we won’t mess with yours.” That was pretty much it. So I went ahead and agreed that, OK, fine, I really don’t know anything about selling books. I have no idea. I haven’t taken these marketing classes. Sometimes it’s good to just leave these people to their business.
[Brandon] It is. Now, there’s something to be said for kind of making a stink and a fuss if you really think they’re wrong. But they have a lot of experience with this. It doesn’t mean they’re not going to have bombs. But what it does mean is… think of it this way. New authors, they’ll think about, this is my book. Well, it is your book. But what you are doing when you sell a book is you are licensing to the publisher the right to use those words in a novel. That is what you are doing. They are taking those words and making a product out of them. You’re not making the product. You get to be the artist. But then you license rights to them. In their case, they get to package however they want.
[James] It’s a joint project. I always say that the editor’s name should be more prevalent. I mean, it’s not just a one-person show. What I love about covers is there is obviously no magical formula, and extremely different covers work in different ways. I just love that. I mean, a cover that is all white with like one thing that’s red on it… sometimes that works. Or just a beautiful, awesome fantasy painting that’s on the cover… sometimes that works. I just… there’s no magical formula, but somehow these guys figure it out, usually.
[Dan] One thing that I learned working with graphic designers for years back when I had a real job is that if you don’t like the way something looks, if you suggest… if you tell them to change it, then the hackles will rise. But if you very politely say I have certain issues, how would you resolve these? Then they’re much more likely to listen. I actually used that with the British version of my second book, Mister Monster. The first cover they sent me was… I did not like it at all. I knew that I couldn’t force them to change it. So I went to them very politely and I said, “I think it has these issues. This is why I think it has these issues. These are some changes I would suggest, but what do you guys think?” They actually did make one of my changes, and then suggested one of their own. I think it’s an incredible cover now. I think it looks very good. But it’s because I went to them very politely.

[Dan] Anyway, let’s move on from covers and talk about titles and first lines. What makes those good? What makes a good title?
[Brandon] Dan, you’ve had trouble with your titles in the past.
[Dan] I’ve had a lot of trouble with my titles. I don’t consider myself a very good titler.
[Brandon] Why have you had trouble with your titles?
[Dan] The big title that everyone knows before, I Am Not a Serial Killer, was actually the working title of my manuscript because I just gave up, long ago, trying to think of good titles. So I just put that on there as a joke, and ran it through my writing group. They said, “Yeah, that’s actually a pretty good title.” Then it got in front of an editor who loved it and said, “Oh, no, you can’t change that. That’s an incredible title.” It is. I think it’s great, now. I realize how effective it is. Going on book tour really hit home to me how strong the title is, how big of a factor it is when it comes to people picking up a book. The third book in my series I had originally called Full of Holes which I love as a title. None of my editors liked it. I could never understand why. But then while I was on this book tour, I finally got it. I’m like, OK, I Am Not a Serial Killer makes people really interested and they pick up the book. Full of Holes does not grab you in the same way. That’s why we went back and the third book title has been changed to I Don’t Want to Kill You, because that has the same kind of grabby thing that will make people go, “Oo, I wonder what that’s about. I bet it’s about puppies.”
[Brandon] That’s a great comment. The last one… I bet it’s about puppies. Because… what I look for in a title is I want to evoke… sometimes people only hear your title. People are talking about your book and they’ll say, “Oh, I read your book. It’s this.” That’s all they’ll hear. Or they’re just see it… sometimes they don’t ever get to see the cover. They just see the name listed in a list of books that came out or something. Having a title that makes them stop and say, “Wow, I wonder what that’s about,” and “I can guess what that’s about” at the same time is what I’m looking for. Something that evokes this feels like a fantasy novel. This feels like…
[Dan] You’ve got The Way of Kings coming out. If I remember correctly, that title has been around much longer…
[Brandon] Than the book?
[Dan] Than the story attached to it.
[Brandon] I came up with the title The Way of Kings first, and then attached a story to it.
[Dan] It’s a fantastic title. So finding a great story to fit with it makes a lot of sense.
[James] I think the title does for me what the first line should do, what the first paragraph should do, what the first chapter should do… it makes me want to find out what that title means.
[Julie] Which is why it would be considered mating plumage, right?
[James] Yeah. It creates its own mystery. I mean, not to make your head any bigger than it is, but I Am Not a Serial Killer, OK? I mean, how can you hear that title, and not think, “What the crap is that book about?” It makes you want to find out… that’s the first mystery of the book, is the title has created a mystery. I think that’s what a good title does for me.
[Julie] I agree. I had a book that I thought was a decent title, and then my publishers informed me I was wrong and changed it to My Not-So Fairy-Tale Life. It’s a kind of a long and flippant title, and yet, it is one that I have found, when I have been on book tours, that it has sold really well because of that. It’s long and flippant, and yet it resonates with whoever it is that’s looking at it.
[Brandon] Well, and that genre actually does have a history of long and flippant titles. So, it works.

[Brandon] We should probably pause for an advertisement.
[Dan] I agree.
[Brandon] Where we talk about our book of the week. We’re going to let James promo his own book again.
[James] Oh, you are so sweet. My book is called the Maze Runner.
[Brandon] Which is a great title, by the way.
[James] Thank you. Makes you wonder why is someone running through the maze, right? The Maze Runner. It is a young adult novel about a bunch of teenagers in a future dystopian post-apocalyptic world who are being put through some type of horrible experiment, trying to escape. It is definitely available…
[Brandon] On Audible. Go to audiblepodcast.com/excuse and you can download a free copy of James’ excellent book which I have read and highly recommend to you. You get a 15 day free trial at audible, and you can get audio books for a very inexpensive price at audible. So it’s very much worth your time checking into it.

[Dan] All right. Let’s talk about first lines. Brandon, I believe you have an example for us?
[Brandon] Yes. Kay Lynn, a friend of ours from our writing group, handed me a Barbara Hambly book and said read this one. “The worst thing about knowing that Gary Fairchild had been dead for a month was seeing him every day at work.”
[Dan] That is an awesome first line.
[James] That is great.
[Dan] OK, panelists, why is that such a good first line?
[James] Well, I always go back to it creates a mystery that I want to know the answer to. Why is this guy being seen at work if he’s dead?
[Brandon] Yeah. It’s the mystery… it’s the um… the reason that one works great is because you laugh at it a little bit, and then you wonder. It sets the tone for what this book is going to be. You know there are going to be supernatural elements. You know that it sounds like it’s going to be fun. You’ve at least got a… since it’s in third person, you’ve got a character that’s kind of got a snarky attitude about things. Otherwise they just wouldn’t have led with a line like that. It’s just… it’s an exciting hook of a story.
[Dan] The fact that it mentions work… the line every day at work… really does give it kind of a… like you said, it sets a strong tone. This is almost a workplace thing. This is… it takes something crazy, like seeing a dead guy, and combines it with something very mundane, you go to work every day.
[James] I like that.
[Julie] I think a hook is a good way to have put that. In that, does your first line give you the right to move to a second line? Did you earn that second line? I mean, readers need to be caught immediately or they might not go to the second line.
[Brandon] Well, I’ve said before that I don’t believe… I think sometimes new writers focus too much on the first line, their first line hook. This one is a zinger. We’ve talked about that before. A great zinger is a wonderful way to start a book. But you can have a great hook without having it be a zinger. Without having it be the sort of line that you read to an audience and they all laugh and say, “Oh, that’s cool.” You can have first lines that aren’t like that. You can have first lines that introduce a conflict and raise a question without making… without it being such a zinger.
[Dan] I wish we had a copy of Neuromancer here so that I could read it exactly, but that’s one of my favorite first lines. All it’s doing is setting a tone for the book. I believe it’s something along the lines of “the sky was the dull gray color of a television tuned to a dead channel.” (The sky above the port was the color of television, tuned to a dead channel.) That’s not a zinger, it doesn’t make you laugh, it doesn’t even tell you anything about the story. But it’s very evocative and it’s very cool.
[James] I think you nailed it kind of earlier when you said anything that creates a mood or puts you in a certain atmosphere that makes you want to keep reading. I mean, one of the classic examples that now gets parodied is the first line in A Wrinkle in Time. “It was a dark and stormy night.” I think people forget that that actually really was from a real book. Anyone who likes to read, likes dark and stormy nights. I don’t care who you are. Just the mood of that makes you go oo, it’s dark, it’s stormy, it makes me want to read on.
[Dan] Let’s also point out that these titles… I mean, these first lines that were talking about. They may be the first line of the published book. I doubt very strongly that they were the first line written by that author when he or she sat down to write the book.
[Brandon] I usually throw away first chapters first. Oftentimes, I’ll add a new first chapter. In The Way of Kings, which has been mentioned, I started the first chapter and I wrote a whole book. And I’m like, I really need a prologue. I added a prologue. Then I’m like, I really need something before that. I went back two chapters. I had to come up with a new introduction to the book twice after I’d started it. Which was very frustrating, but also it pushed me. And then, we have three first chapters that all have pretty good opening lines.
[Dan] Now, on the other hand, the book that I’m just finishing up is about a schizophrenic guy, and I thought when I sat down to write, “You know what would be a cool first line for this? Who are you?” Because that would set an interesting premise. I intend to maintain that. I guess we’ll see what my editor says but… so that is a case where I actually did come up with the first line first. Julie? What can you tell us about first lines? Is the first line itself really that important? How much time do you have? Do you have a whole paragraph? Do you have a whole page?
[Julie] I would dare bet you would have a page. I am actually the type of person who I give somebody 50 pages. If they don’t catch me in 50 pages, I’m done. I give myself permission to put the book down. But there’s a lot of great books out there that have amazing first lines. Jessica Day George’s Dragon Slippers. “It was my aunt’s idea to give me to the dragon.” That’s funny stuff. You think what kind of aunt does that to their niece? I’m going to be given to a dragon. It’s a fun first line. There’s a lot of really amazing things that you can do with a first line. It sets up humor if your character is humorous. It sets up the entire book. That’s an important thing to do. So, yes, it’s important, but I wouldn’t say that people are going to actually put down the book based on the first line. I would say.
[Dan] Yeah. I was talking to my agent a couple of days ago, and she said that she knows within the first page if she doesn’t want a book, but it takes her a good chapter before she knows if she does want a book. We gotta close this, but let me say really quickly that on Orson Scott Card’s website, Hat Rack River, they have like a writing group thing where people can come on and critique. They have… I think they call it the bane rule, where it’s 13 lines because that is what will appear on your first page, is 13 lines. I think that that’s a pretty good gauge of how much time you have in a bookstore situation to grab somebody’s attention.

[Dan] Anyway, let’s toss a writing prompt at Julie. Julie, give us a writing prompt.
[Julie] Oh, that’s nice. Put me on the spot. A writing prompt… let’s see…
[James] You can use the word monkey if you want.
[Julie] I can use the word monkey? Really?
[Dan] You have to be pithy and brilliant.
[Julie] Oh, pithy and brilliant. How about…
[Brandon] James buys a new pet monkey.
[Julie] James buys a new pet monkey… no, that’s not a good writing prompt. Um. I can’t believe you did this to me. And I’m blank. I am so blank. Could you give this to James?

[Dan] James, give us a writing prompt?
[James] Brandon and Julie go on a safari and get attacked by monkeys.
[Dan] All right. There you go. You are out of excuses. Now go write.